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Relationships Are Like A Pair of Shoes |
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Author: Kristin Kopp
A relationship, like a pair of shoes, is a non-identical, complimentary set. A running shoe is paired with another running shoe; athletes are attracted to others who value fitness. A steel-toed work boot matches a similar mate; those who work long and hard for their money generally attract partners who share the expectation that life requires hard work. An expensive high heel is not worn with a run down flip-flop and is often found to keep company with a polished pair of wing tips.
A woman in New York meets a new man. She observes that they might have a future together because their ”pathologies match.” She thinks he’s a little crazy. She’s certain that she herself is a little nuts. Her conclusion is that they might understand each other as a result. She is only half kidding.
There is a magnetic attraction between them because there is a similarity in their energetic vibrations. Neither of them feel at peace with themselves yet are surprised that the relationship is filled with conflict. They share matching viewpoints of being out of step with the norm, but that commonality doesn’t mean they will be happy.
Someone in the vibration of abusing will attract someone in the vibration of being vulnerable to abuse. A perfect pair: victim and victimizer. They attract each other. Even while the victim desperately dreams of rescue and “happily ever after”, she continues to think of herself and thus vibrates as a victim needing rescue. This energetic signal attracts more victimization, not the knight she visualizes every night.
Both the victim and victimizer are experiencing internal dragon wars, opposing beliefs, which create the self-sabotage and compulsive behavior we wish we could quit. The energetic polarity reversal manifests in opposites attracting each other. While their energy is stuck in conflict, it is difficult to maintain healthy behavior. They consistently create circumstances that they don’t consciously prefer.
Note:
This kind of energy conflict sabotoges your New Year's resolutions, your attempts to make changes in your life and the repetition of unfavorable emotional, physical and financial patterns. It's not that you don't want something better or lack the will to go get it. Your intention to manifest something new is at war with opposing forces, dragons, that are already ruling your roost.
The Dragon Slayer |
Someone in the habit of not getting what they want will attract a dancing partner who does not want them. Someone in the habit of blaming others will attract others to blame.
The Law of Attraction is always at work. In relationships, as in life, we always attract a perfect match to our vibration, our beliefs and our expectations. Expectations often go unnoticed and have nothing to do with what we want.
If you are not getting what you want in your relationships, your finances and your life style, then there is a mismatch between your vibration and wishes. Like milk and cookies, partners compliment each other’s dominant belief systems and expectations. If you want a champagne life, but think of yourself as a vanilla wafer, drinking that bubbly will be a rare treat, not a lifestyle.
Being willing to recognize that your results and patterns in life are reflections of what you are being, who and what you think you are and the identity you most closely associate with is the first step to shifting your vibration and your experience.
If you want to know what you are vibrating, take a non-judgmental look at your life and relationships. Whether or not you have what you have been wanting, the truth is that your vibration was a perfect match to what you’ve got.
Our vibration is like a complicated stew of multi-dimensions: past, present and future hopes, dreams, successes, worries and fears. There are countless components that make up our vibration. Knowing what you want and focusing on it is beneficial, but it doesn’t replace our personal cumulative vibrational stew, it adds to it.
Changing our mind does not eliminate the beliefs we were holding before we decided we wanted something different; it just sends those beliefs and identities underground. Like Cinderella, the abandoned shoe comes back to find us.
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bman commented on 03 Jan 2008, 19:48:00
Kristin,
Timely article for me particularly. Relationships have many parts one of which is the beginning, the middle and the end.
I am in the middle and am wondering what law I am following because of the circumstances in which I find myself.
I think part of my problem has been a lack of loving myself which has affected my relationships with my wife and daughter.
Now we have chaos on our hands.
I realize that there is a vagueness to my problem which is financial but its core is the law of attraction.
What I think about I attract, I have been mired in the land of anger for far too long.
I have work to do.
thanks,
Barney
Barney, Kristin here. Thanks for writing.
You've kept me posted in private about all the amazing and powerful work your doing to heal yourself. Good work!
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